


Dedede's Guide to Taking a Man Out For a Coffee

by straightouttapopstar



Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Dedesuka, For no reason, Gijinka, I tried my hand at being Shakespeare, M/M, Meta gets drunk, Poetry, Romance, Sonnet, a bit - Freeform, but it's tragic, please enjoy, this seems funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straightouttapopstar/pseuds/straightouttapopstar
Summary: "Amongst the lonely marble columns outside of the chaotic fun was nothing but cold wind. The stars looked ordinary, the night as dull and quiet as always despite the muted shouting inside the spacious hall.Then, a shy little servant sat next to me. He avoided my gaze as much as possible, instead feigning incredible interest and eyeing the beautifully and purposedly broken cobblestones."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Lately I had been analysing Romeo and Juliet in depth during my English lessons, and became inspired to quite closely recreate the first meeting in Act 1 Scene 5 with my favourite ship. The 'sonnet' had been written by me, and I hope you don't find it too terrible. Above all, please enjoy :DD  
> (I felt like this little fic stood out by itself, and thus I decided to not upload it into my drabbles)

It was a feast. A real medival type feast, like the ones all those fancy people had in Shakespearian times with masks and all. All ladies were immaculately dressed as were the gentlemen, welcoming each other with an eager handshake and introducing themselves to one another. Everyone was piled in a large hall, on the side was a live orchestra making every note sound like birdsong. The flute was blowing my worries away, just like the bass was slowly cueing all my problems to dance in some other corner.  
Suddenly, someone bumped into my shoulder and I had been faced with one of my best friends. He was nonchalantly holding one of those antique goblets or something like that. I chuckled to myself - at least they're metal, so if he gets excessively drunk and drops it then no one will suffer from a broken glass.  
"Hey-y, mi compadre!"  
Meta put up an arm behind my head and squeezed me eagerly.  
"Hey bro."  
"Dedede, y'gotta *hic*, get out there! Meet some *hic* nice ladies!"  
I gently pushed his arm off of my shoulders and ruffled his adorable blue fringe.  
"Meta, I'll do it at my own pace. Meanwhile, you can finish all the wine they have."  
He shook his head with a smile and was immediately swept off with the wave of people who were dancing and enjoying themselves. By now he would have probably been talking to a group of women about astrology and how they were all written in the stars together. He was very wise and serious when sober, and crazy when at least a little alcohol got into his system.  
Amongst the lonely marble columns outside of the chaotic fun was nothing but cold wind. The stars looked ordinary, the night as dull and quiet as always despite the muted shouting inside the spacious hall.  
Then, a shy little servant sat next to me. He avoided my gaze as much as possible, instead feigning incredible interest and eyeing the beautifully and purposedly broken cobblestones.  
"A day that has gone past and forgotten,  
Has some way finding peace in person's mind..."  
I whispered to myself, trying to think positively, that I have friends. That I can have fun. That social settings are perfect for me. But the man who sat next to me was shaking so much in nervousness I couldn't concentrate.  
"Work, home, a family setting,  
But none allow a person's love to find."  
I was surprised to see the small servant-like individual whisper out two lines back at me. I thought, maybe it's just a coincidence? He's messing with me.  
I tried to do it again.  
"Up in the hills, somewhere away,  
Wander off, search for salvation!"  
He gradually slid off the bench and stood up.  
"Salvation from what monster?  
The cheeks, the lips, or their loving dictation?"  
I looked straight into his eyes, which were a raging torrent of sky-blue water.  
I decided to kick it up a notch, challenge him.  
"So what solution must you have?  
Deface the challenger like you've been raised in a barn?"  
He took a step towards me, his lips forming a stern line as I could hear his heart hammer in emotion.  
"Barn? O what manners, man!  
I shall untangle them and their feelings, pull the thin and love-sick yarn."  
I joined him in standing and carelessly caught his hand like a last escape from reality. He looked shocked, mortified even, wanting to disappear right that second.  
I had to admit, he had amazing rhyming skills.  
"And once they are completed,  
Lovers divine--  
"Only when lips connect,  
Will you see their real shine."  
After a long pause of just looking at each other, the raging torrents turned into enormous stressed waves and his hand began to pull out from mine, even though I held it so so closely. I decided to go against his wishes and pull him towards me instead. He attempted resisting numerous times, but they call me chubby for a reason, don't they?  
"My name is Dedede,  
I come from close by..."  
"I-I am Escargon, of this rich house,  
I work long hours when sleep is nigh."  
I took his hand in mine, and slowly lifted it to my face. He almost jumped back when my cold lips touched the surface of his fingers, kissing each and every one tentatively.  
"O Sir, no need for such, and romance,  
For I'm just lonely and selfish attendant..."  
I pulled him even closer until his soft hair fell on my coat and held his blushing self for a while.  
"A lonely and selfish attendant?  
Ridiculous, making my moments so transcendent--"  
He suddenly broke out of my embrace and stood in the cold open in front of me, his eyes lost as was his mind.  
"Halt! All men are the same!  
I am a man, I should know too..."  
"But you had never experienced affection,  
With one, so you never knew."  
He was conflicted, and I would probably never be able to imagine the tornado of bafflement that was running through his thoughts. I knew we were meant to be. Hell, we finished each other's sentences - it all couldn't end like that. I just didn't want to hurt him accidentally how I had already done to many others. I wanted this time to be ideal.  
"How about we try?  
One, two, and third time's the charm."  
"Trial brings hope, hope brings disappointment...  
Severe disappointment but grants no harm."  
He allowed me to take control again and grasp his hand caringly, which slowly lured him to me.  
"At 3, my work is done.  
A meeting in a few days?"  
He laughed soundlessly and mouthed at me 'smooth move!'.  
"I accept thy invite,  
Just annul the embrace."  
This is exactly how I learned that Shakespearian sonnets are the best way to take a guy out for coffee, and that my English honours degree skills are irresistible to other men.


End file.
